State vs. Pookie Johnson AKA "Lil Stuff"

Judge: The Court now call the matter of State vs. Pookie Johnson

District Attorney: Your Honor this is Assistant District Attorney Jason Bourne representing the state and Attorney Larry English representing the defendant. Mr. Johnson is on for sentencing after having been found guilty of intent to distribute two kilos of cocaine.

Judge: Good Morning Mr. English

Mr. English: Good Morning Your Honor

Judge: Mr. English before I pass sentence is there anything you would like to say on behalf of your client

Mr. English: Yes, your Honor. Your Honor the United States Mayor, former Presidential candidate, and former United States Attorney, the Honorable Rudy Giuliani came out in defense of the 20 billion dollar in bonuses that Wall Street bankers paid themselves after taking 350 billion dollars of government money as good for economy of New York

Judge: Mr. English what the hell that got to do with Pookie Johnson’s case

Mr. English: Well your Honor, Mr. Johnson selling hundreds of kilos of cocaine in the depressed inner city has also been good for the economy. Mr. Giuliani rightfully pointed out that Wall Street bankers bonuses fuel the real-estate industry in New York. I mean who else can afford 30 million dollar apartments. Those bonuses are the bedrock of Bergdorf Goodman and other stores along 5th Avenue. The rest of America may be angry, but New Yorker understand, that so goes the bonuses, so goes New York.

And your Honor Mr. Johnson expresses that same entrepreneurial spirit as Citi and Bank Of America. Mr. Johnson proceeds may be illegal like Wall Street, but your honor, he gainfully employs young black males who have been left behind in this global economy, his taste in jewelry and fast cars have been a savior to those industries in these tough economic times. Mr. Johnson has purchased rent houses all over the city, so he is putting affordable houses on the market.

District Attorney: Your Honor, this is unbelievable Mr. Johnson purchased rent houses to hide money

Mr. English: Your Honor our good DA's criticism of Pookie, like our well meaning President criticism of Wall Street bonuses is misguided. As Mr. Giuliani so rightfully pointed out somebody got to help the real-estate market in these tough times. That is exactly what Pookie Johnson has been doing.

Judge: Mr. English have you lost your mind?

Mr. English: No your honor I just think that Mr. Johnson should be given the same consideration as the CEO’s that have raped the public and private coffers and As Mayor Giuliani said..

Court: Mr. English you are an idiot and so is Rudi Giuliani

Mr. English: Yes your honor

Court: Pookie Johnson, I hereby sentence you to 15 years and I suggest that when you get out, you apply your considerable business skills on Wall Street. There stealing is legal. Court dismissed.